We All Get Fucked

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

Normally I would say, a political humor video sprinkled with profanity done by my favorite cheerleader is something I would post here without even watching because come on, its Hayden cussing. But I have to say, ALL THESE POLITICAL VIDEOS ARE SO FUCKING AWFUL. The Paris Hilton ones I actually find pretty hilarious but aside from maybe the Sarah Silverman video they have all been pretty terrible and not funny at all. Funny or Die + Political Videos - Paris Hilton = Die. If you've seen the Jess Alba and Hayden "muzzle" one you know what I'm talking about, because I didn't even post it here and I'm pretty sure we all know that Hayden Panettiere in a muzzle is up there on my fantasy list.

I wouldn't have even put this one on here either because truly, it's not funny at all. Except for the last 3 seconds. It's not even so much what she says as the look on her face when she says it. I don't know, this video sucks so you can skip through the whole thing and just watch the 4 seconds and be just as well off.

No Big Deal Or Anything

I wasn't hanging out with Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass was hanging out with me.
By the way did I mention I have the best job EVAR?~>~>~~?

Vote or Die Part 2

So, P. Diddy is definitely certifiably insane and if you've ever seen Making the Band or I Want to Work for Diddy or basically ever heard anything even remotely relevant then you would not argue that point. One thing he is not though is stupid. I've really been enjoying his political videos. They're bizarre and a little bit creepy but its good to see that he's trying to voice his opinion in a way that maybe young people are more receptive to. Here's a new video about why Sarah Palin scares him.



I can't stress enough how important voting is this election, and I REALLY can't stress enough how important it is to vote based on who you think is going to be able to do the best job for this country. Don't get stuck in media bullshit. Don't get trapped by Democratic/Republican party boundaries. And please, please please don't vote for someone just because they are "pretty" (ahem, Kristin) - and at the same time, don't NOT vote for someone just because they are black. Our country is in a dire state and it's time for us to stand up and make some changes. If deep in your heart you truly believe in what Sarah Palin says then by all means vote for her and John McCain. But please consider that when McCain has a heart attack in office we are stuck with somebody who can't even name one newspaper or publication of reputation she's read and thinks international relations means being able to see Russia from Alaska. Tonight is Sarah Palin v Joe Biden, everybody should tune in.

Cock Cock Cock Cock

A girl who looks and sounds incredibly similar to Katie Holmes has made a series of pretty hilarious YouTube videos documenting Katie's "secret confessions". It's a great idea, she should keep doing this. These two are my favorite.





If you want to see a few others, there's more here. "Spit Salad" sucks but the other one is fairly entertaining.

I Love You Claire Bear

Hayden Panettiere dropped her video for her new single "Wake Up Call" today. Bitch looks skankier than Aubrey O'Day and that's saying something. The song sounds like a cheap rip off of "Stars are Blind". Don't go there Hayden. Hiltons know best. Anyway this song blows serious dick but I listened to it about 23094823 times today for no reason, so if you want to watch Hayden wriggle into her panties click below.

Breaking News

ZOMG!!! Breaking news story! The beautiful earthly goddess known as Lindsay Lohan was photographed yesterday on her birthday wearing the Michael Kors leather zip-front sandals I bought like two weeks ago. We're totes soulmates. SamRon better watch her back.

Happy Birthday Lilo!

Today is the day that we pay recognition to God for blessing this planet with one of the finest creatures its ever known, Lindsay Lohan. She's only 22 today but she's already done more drugs than most functioning people do in their lifetime and that my friends is an accomplishment. Let's take a look back at Lindsay's glory days..

Here's La Lohan rockin' out with her alcohol monitoring bracelet.

Here she is getting stabbed in the boob by Vanessa Minnillo. That skank needs to recognize.

Beautiful princess.

Awesomerexia! No coke bloat here. Way to be.

Happy birthday Lindsay. We are not worthy.

Surprise

Today could have started out like any other Tuesday but it didn't. I was so surprised/excited/happy when I got to work this morning and saw this beautiful thing waiting for me!



Since I started working here as an intern I was stationed at what nobody realized was designed an "intern computer" aka a complete piece of shit. Lately I've been having a really difficult time even getting my job done because the computer was near death so I started hasseling people about what my chances were of getting a new one when we discovered I actually do deserve a real full time worker beautiful computer. After weeks of the run around I had accepted that there probably wasn't a great chance of anything actually getting accomplished but I was pleasantly proved wrong when I got in today and saw that Chris set up my fantastic big white perfect new computer for me.

Then to add the icing on the cake I got to have lunch with these fine characters!!



Spencer and Heidi were supposed to come almost a month ago and had to cancel at the last minute and I was sooo disappointed. It was totally worth the wait though because they were so funny and entertaining! Not to mention a little bit mean which obviously I love. The best part was that they did not hold back whatsoever about talking shit on Lauren, Brody and everyone else from the Hills/their life. If you want to know what they said you'll have to go out and buy next week's issue of Us Weekly! (;

Pack Your Knives and Go

One of the many perks of my job is that I get to eat lunch with different celebrities, musicians and tv personalities. Previous contenders include Bret Michaels, Eva Mendes, Mary J. Blige and Natasha Bedingfield (snore). Today I had the pleasure of enjoying a meal with Top Chef's host and hostess, Tom Colicchio

and Padma Lakshmi.


I have to say that I have a big ol' crush on Chef Colicchio. He's a nice, mild-mannered guy with a shaved head (yum). He was pleasant and professional and adorable. Padma, not so much. She has a great body but she seems prettier on the show, not to mention that she is in desperate need of a stylist. She dominated most of the conversation and seemed more or less like a bitch. I will give her one thing though -girl can eat. I've never seen someone actually come to one of our lunches and do more than just push some salad around on a plate. Padma had two helpings of food and a cookie. Good for her.

Season 4: Chicago is promising to be the best season yet according to these two, with the contestants being overall the most talented so far. Noteworthy: no contestants were allowed to leave Chicago until the end of the competition because bloggers and newspapers were following them so closely that sending home the eliminated players would have spoiled the whole show before it even aired. They are not allowed cell phones, newspapers, television, magazines, books (except 2 non-food related books they are allowed to bring from home), music or any connection to the outside world at all. No wonder there's so much dramz.

Coffee of the Stars

Even though it's a compete waste of money I love Starbucks almost as much as Britney does. I ask myself all the time why I insist on always buying my morning (and afternoon.. and evening..) beverages there even though I could easily go to Dunkin Donuts or any other coffee establishment in New York City and spend a third of the price. This week I realized why. Starbucks baristas are on point. They know what I want every morning and have my drink ready for me before I even get to the register. If I'm too tired to even speak the name of my drink (which happens more times that I like to admit), it doesn't matter because my baristas know exactly what I want. I don't do shit except hand them my debit card. Fact of the matter is.. when I go to Starbucks, I'm the star. Bitch.